My Crown

My crown.  It’s always been mine, shiny and beautifully adorned in gemstones with intricate details.  Just like the details of my life.  Some aspects sparkle while others are a bit more worn. Still there is beauty in something so beautifully crafted.  It’s always been mine.  So why haven’t I been wearing it?  That’s a good question.  It’s not because I didn’t like it or because I didn’t want to.  I had simply put it up on a shelf and seemed to have forgotten about it.  So, why wasn’t I wearing it?

Maybe the truth of the matter is, while I did want to wear it, I found that I’d gotten all too comfortable relying on others to tell me when I could wear it.  You know, they would let me know when it was appropriate to wear it and when it was time to put it back away again for safe keeping.  I think that is something we can all related to in one way or another.  I think I took the easy way out, it seemed easier to let others let me know when to break out the beautiful crown rather than take the leap of faith and wear it whenever I wanted to.  Dare I say, where it all of the time? 

You see my beautifully adorned crown represents my independence, self-worth, self-confidence and my value.  For many years, I’ve allowed others both personally and professionally, to determine my value all the while reaping the benefits of my hard work and dedication to being their “ride or die”.  Whether I was leading the charge on their behalf or sitting right beside them, others have felt the full fury of my loyalty and my passion to support others on their journey in this life.  My dedication to making other people’s lives more fulfilled, more lucrative and more supported would one day be repaid in full to me, you know, in time.  Someday, it would be my turn. 

Well, my friend, it’s long past my turn.  I have been worthy and I am just as valuable as the next friend.  I don’t have to wait for the others to finally succeed so that they might return the favor of supporting me, no, it’s time for me to put the same focus, dedication and intensity into my own story and bring forth the success, fulfillment and complete joy into my own life. 

I’ve realized that I’ve spent quite a bit of time surrounding myself with people that I perceived would need something from me so that I could set up my own patterns of servicing others.  I don’t write this to blame anyone.  It’s not about blame. I have always been a willing participant in my own journey.  It simply was the easy path, really.  Not as much risk, less fear of failing and a cushy little comfort zone where I could act like a rockstar or a behind the scenes roadie, whichever I needed to be in that moment.  Gone are the days when I allow someone else to influence my value and my energetic imprint into this universe.  It’s my tour and I’m taking center stage with my beautiful crown! 

xo Holly